So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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