Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
