Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
