You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
