I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
