i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
