oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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