There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have aggressive nipples.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Randomize
