im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Randomize
