she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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