PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
