grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
