rhymes with "ouble enetration"
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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