I look better un-naked...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
