i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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