The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
And then my night got REAL pukey
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
