He felt like a one man threesome
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
