He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
