i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
