She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
