1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
