I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
the day after is always just damage control
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Randomize
