Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Randomize
