I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
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