Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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