i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
