I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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