then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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