Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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