my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Randomize
