Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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