She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
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