come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
