Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
