I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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