it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
