JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
