Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
