Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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