My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
A bitchslap is in order.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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