Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Don't make out with my wife yet
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
