i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Randomize
