Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
