you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
