you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
