ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
