i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
