i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
