he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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