In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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