Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
