i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Randomize
