it wasn't lemon gatorade
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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