I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
