"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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